Thursday, January 19, 2012

open mouth, insert foot

First things first, Inky sent me a really wonderful gift for Christmas/New Year. I've a picture of me opening it, but Aedon's cat chewed through my chord so I can't upload the photos yet! I'll save talking about it until I can do that, but I did want to shout out a thanks to her for that while I was thinking of it!

What I really wanted to write about was a problem I seem to often get myself into :( I got into a discussion with some of the kids at school, and it didn't go well.

See, we all have different hobbies, though sometimes they overlap some. You know how people who have things in common seem to hang around and be friends with one another though? I think the thing we have in common in this household is that we're not very... well, normal. Actually, maybe 'average' is a better way to word it, since 'normal' may imply that there's something wrong with us, and there's not, it's just that most of is are not very... mainstream? And sometimes I get use to having that, and sometimes I get really emotional, because I'm passionate about things which is good! but it means I'm not always careful when I open my mouth.

Someone at school was saying about how lucky she was that her boyfriend was understanding that she had dolls. It made me think of Aedon, who collects a whole bunch of different dolls. Aedon doesn't have a boyfriend but in the past she has had friends who thought the dolls were creepy or whatever. Thing is, I don't think someone is "lucky" if a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend or anyone really who is suppose to care about you merely tolerates you having a hobby that they don't get. Someone who cares about you should be MORE supportive than that! Iona isn't really a doll sort of person at all, but she has sewn clothing for Aedon's dolls for her, because even if she doesn't like dolls, she DOES like Aedon. Does that make sense? I just don't get how "not sneering" and "tolerating" turn out to be to some people as "being supportive". I was trying to explain that sort of thing to the girls at my lunch table, and they just got argumentative and mean. Yet they accused ME of being mean!

Whenever I state my opinion, that seems to happen, and it always hurts me as well as frustrates me. I talked to Riley some about it, since she's always so level headed, and she said sometimes I am a bit more blunt about things than people are use to. She did also say though that she thinks that I'm right, and that many times these things don't come up when it's girls wanting to do boy things (like a girl is encouraged to be more supportive of her boyfriend's sports), than the other way around, and that she thought it was because of sexism, and how things which are "girl things" are seem as being less awesome, and though you'd see a girl play hockey in a tv commercial, you rarely ever see a boy playing house/cooking (which is crazy considering.. did you know that most famous chefs are men!?) or sewing (same! Iona tells me many famous fashion designers are men). She said she thinks that even if I don't know what it is I'm seeing, that I do SEE these sorts of things more than most people, and that I'm not 'average' that way. She said it was good that I saw them though, and that she hoped that I didn't feel like I shouldn't say anything about it, because everyone would benefit from people like me (aww) saying more things, but that I just have to be more careful to be nice when I say things.

She's pretty awesome, I don't know why other people think she's kind of cold/weird.

5 comments:

  1. Hi, Aurora! It sounds to me like you are a good, supportive friend. Sorry the other girls at school weren't so nice.

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  2. Salut, Aurora!
    You remind me a lot of myself. While I am an introverted person, I am not afraid to speak my mind or stand up for myself when I disagree with what somebody is saying. I've been called "mean", "rude", and even a "snob". I am far from being any of those things. It hurts me because that's far from the truth. Just because I disagree with people doesn't mean I dislike them or am an awful person.
    You sound like a good friend. Don't worry. :)
    Bisous,
    Sabine

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  3. Teehee, I know what you mean. I hate the Mainstream stuff, but when I try to voice my opinion it's either taken the wrong way or people just don't understand.
    I'm surprised that people (mostly in school) Don't understand what a discussion is, and almost never listen to what your really saying, and assume it's an argument with them.
    stick with those who understand you ^.^ Can't wait to see those pictures :)

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  4. Hi Aurora,

    I think you're totally right. Unfortunately some people think "supportive" means agreeing all the time or never questioning whether something is right. Sometimes, though, the best way to be supportive is to give another perspective, and I think you're good at doing that.

    Sorry it led to awkwardness, but you did nothing wrong.

    Love,
    Summer

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